• Miss Hammm

Can I use your bathroom?

So, ultimately this is not the initial blog I was working on this week, but its one of those things that I kept thinking about in the shower, so it MUST be important, right?

Pet peeves. The dictionary describes them as "Something that a particular person finds especially annoying" The tricky thing about peeves is that you can only understand something is a thing that causes annoyance to others if you've done it yourself. If you've never done it, then you actually have no idea it's a thing that has anything to do with anything. It's a non issue. So clearly, I am no Saint here. I have committed Peeve Treason one time or another, which has ultimately lead us here.

"Can I use your bathroom?"

I get it 100%. Nobody wants to try on a super sexy dress with a massive pee-baby belly and our digestive systems can be real assholes sometimes. Get it? Assholes...digestion. Don't make me explain further. That was funny and you know it.

So, you go to a big box store to shop and they always have public bathrooms. Makes sense, as they generally have a multitude of people shopping all day long. I work out of a house. I am a small, small business. So when people ask to use my bathroom, it feels extremely personal because it is actually MY bathroom. When I first opened, I even lied and told people I didn't have one on the main floor, but sadly that resulted in a kid shitting their pants and stinking up the store. I have even had random people (non-shoppers) come in and ask to use the bathroom and when denied, they leave! One was actually a young guy carrying a trombone. In hind sight, I kind of wish I had let him in. I have questions.

It's a catch 22. I want my customers to be comfortable and leave saying wonderful things about me and my store, like "Look at this dress I just bought! Did you see how good it looked on me after Cay let me unload in her bathroom?! Gosh she's a great gal!", but I also feel like my personal bubble of space is getting popped. Kind of like when someone asks to borrow a pen, and leans all the way over my desk into my work zone, scanning the entire space looking at everything but the pen that was actually on the counter the whole time. What is that? Is it a curiosity thing? Is the pen just your excuse to look at my stuff and judge me? Is curiosity killing cats everywhere, or just here? Please someone tell me why this is! I'm curious to know! See...? Peeve Treason.

Sometimes it's not even about someone invading my bubble. Frankly, a lot of the time its because I don't want people to see the utter chaos that my back room can become when I get a large inflow of inventory. At any given time I will have at least one round of inventory on the go back there. Before we were appointment based, I had 26 different consignors bags and boxes back there stacked. I have all my Ikea bags rolled up and stuffed into another Ikea bag, just waiting to explode. I have a rolling rack full of the right foot to every left foot shoe on the sales floor, and I currently have a butt load of shoes! Have you ever seen a pile of 103 pair of denim jeans? I have and I'm here to tell you, a Mount Everest avalanche don't got shit on the fear of 103 pair of denim jeans falling on you.

Just imagine, you ask to use my bathroom and are met at the door with a denim avalanche of fury coming down upon you. Denim is heavy, it will constrict the flow of fresh, clean air between you and the world outside the denim pile, and you will become one with the denim. People will tell urban legends about you.

~ They say if you turn the lights off in a boutique bathroom and look into the mirror and call out "Denim Debbie... Denim Debbie... Denim Debbie", she will appear. Be careful though, the last girl that did that was never seen again! ~

It makes you wonder, do you really have to pee that bad?

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