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  • Miss Hammm

Ever wondered why?

Have you ever wondered?

With the last name Hamilton, it was inevitable that someone would call me Ham. It first happened in 5th grade because I was chubby. Ham was a fat reference, and kids are assholes. It was even more shitty because it was a boy who said it and he was "like, totally cute". It's even shittier, because that totally cute jerk grew up to be a respectable, handsome dentist. I can't even hold it against him now. It didn't happen again though until high school, but once it did I rarely heard my real name.

Even some of the teachers called me Ham.


Alternatives included: Hammy, Hammer, Hamz, Ham-Bone, Ham-Boner, Boner (didnt' love this one, for obvious reasons)

When I graduated high school my parents gifted me their old vehicle. Along with that car. a personalized license plate. "Hammm"


Hammm has since carried me through my entire adult life, both personally and career wise. I wish I could call it an alter ego, and blame all the questionable things I did as a young adult on said alter ego. Like that time in Mexico when I... wait, never mind. Or that time in Vegas we... shit. Just never mind, Young Hammm liked to party.


Alas, no alter ego here. I am Hammm, Hammm is me. Finkle is Einhorn, Einhorn is Finkle.


(If you don't get this reference, you are missing out on one of the greatest motion pictures of my generation. Should have won an Oscar. Alrighty then.)


I've touched on this before, but branding your small business is so very important. You are your business. Finkle IS Einhorn! I've had a tendency to forget this, regardless of preaching it to the high heaven's and any new business owner brave (or crazy) enough to ask me for advice. If you haven't caught on, this paragraph is just me giving myself a pep talk about staying true to my branded roots and not loosing sight of Miss Hammm and what she's built. This is my accountability paragraph. So when I start to stray from my ideals, you (the internet people) can hold me accountable. I am pretty sure that's what the internet is used for now anyway, right?


I am my brand. I am a brand built from pipe dream conversations over chicken wings and cheap wine on Wednesday nights. A brand built with tears, F-bombs, dirty jokes, prime times and bourbon. A brand built on the premise of being kind, but not taking any shit. A brand who celebrates your bad assery! A brand based on empowering those who walk through our door, then kicking their self doubt in the teeth.


Even though my appearance changes through out the years that delightfully robust, ginger maned Miss Hammm is me and everything I embody.


F-bombs, cigars and bad jokes included. No flaw's left behind.


I am Miss Hammm, and House of Hammm Consignment Boutique is me.


Draw me like one of your french girls. Or like a pig, whatever's easiest. ~~~~~ Illustration: Greg Harder ~~ Photography: D.S Photography

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