• Miss Hammm

The Try Chronicals

I have realized something about myself. Chances are if you know me at all you've already noticed and been annoyed by this feature for a while now.

But I've finally figured it out.

I am a Tryer.

What is a Tryer you ask? A Tryer is an individual who tries multiple things, all the time. You can't debate me on the meaning either because it's not even a word in the dictionary. You just have to believe me. While we are at it, I call dibs on that term. Trademarked by me, Cayleigh Hamilton, September 6, 2018. Tryer is MY word now. Contact me direct for all payment details on royalties for the use of my term.

#tradmarked #tryer

"Tryer" ~ One who tries multiple things all the time.

True fact, Trier (spelling) is actually a term in the dictionary similar to what I'm getting at, but their definition isn't as good as mine. My dibs still sticks.

Being a Tryer, I can only assume is exhausting for everyone and everything around me. For me though, it's kind of exciting! Even more so now that I actually realize I'm doing it and I have the upper hand! Looking back on all the things I've tried, desperately searching for my niche in life it's slightly overwhelming and I can't help but think that I cannot be the only one of my kind. There has to be more of us Tryers out there, right?

Where are you? Let's start a club! I call shotgun on President!

I can only imagine how infuriating this would have been for my parents while I was growing up. I definitely know this pattern has traced back to at least my junior high school era, but I do have a memory of trying to make edible nail polish with iced tea crystals once when I was a child and when that didn't work I asked for singing lessons, which did work (ahem.. award winning vocalist right here. No big deal.). So maybe it started there? Really, it's anyone's guess!

One thing I have undoubtedly learned throughout my trying trials is that I almost always fail. However, when I fail, I just seem to find something new to try. Ex: I tried a Bridal Suite extension of the House of Hammm. It failed. So, I'm trying something new and bought a motor home and I'm trying to set up a mobile boutique. Will it work? It better f*cking work! I just bought a god damn motor home!!! But really, who knows?! The one thing I do know though, is that if if fails, I will just try something else.

There is something I am finding extremely interesting in the midst of this mass realization, and it's given me an extremely different outlook on things. I believed that my bout of depression and overall life hating tendencies were things I was just burdened with and had to find a way to deal. However, what if I was just trying those things out? What if I failed at hating life and just tried something new? What if my life hating failure led me to try being a business owner? WHAT IF, you guys?! I don't know about you, but I just blew my own mind.

What if I just failed at hating life? What if.....

There are so many amazing things that I have done in my life that are contributed solely to failure one way or another, and since we are getting real deep right now I can tell you that I have placed my very existence and happiness at this time in my life on the shoulders of failure. To the assholes who tell you, " You can't do that" or "That won't work", go out and prove it. Worst case scenario? It doesn't work; but here you are now with a valuable lesson that could change everything on the next try. Best case scenario? You prove those assholes wrong and you do exactly what they say couldn't be done. Valuable lessons or a bittersweet victory, either way I'd say is a win in the end. So what is the moral of today's Hammm Sauce? The moral is that it is 100% OK to fail. If you're not failing at things, then you're not trying, and if your not trying you can't be in the Tryers Club.

Should you wish to be part of the Tryers Club, please take this extremely informal test below. Grab a beer or your preferred poison, read my severely condensed list of fails, and for every fail we have in common, take a drink! If you are drunkish at the end of list, you win and you are formally welcomed to Team Tryer!

Team Tryer Tryout Trials

Read the list and drink for each matching fail!

~ Making edible nail polish from iced tea crystals

~ Ballet

~ Making jewelry

~ Being an employee

~ Shoplifting

~ Drinking Sambuca without throwing up

~ Secondary Education

~ Silversmithing

~ Being a Registered Massage Therapist

~ Sudoku

~ Riding a mechanical bull

~ Selling Arbonne

~ Seducing Prince Harry

~ Passing Accounting 101 without cheating

~ Being depressed

~ Juice cleanse

~ Sober September

~ Volleyball and/or basketball

~ Deleting Facebook

~ Being a professional cowgirl

~ Teaching my dog general manners

~ Street racing

~ Waterslides

~ Dry cleaning things with dry cleaning only tags

~ Spontaneously going out

~ Wearing matching underoos

~ Not calling undergarments underoos

~Cheers to failure~

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