• Miss Hammm

You're such a newb...

Well hello there, and welcome!

I have noticed an ever so slight increase in our followers since we've moved, so I've decided to take this opportunity to introduce myself and do what I do best; talk about myself. Just kidding (but not actually)! If you've been here a while, not too sure what's wrong with you but we will cross that bridge when we get there. Regardless thanks for sticking it out with me. If you're new, consider this your warning. I am exhausting, self absorbed and I swear a lot (again, sorry Mom & Dad).

House of Hammm Consignment Boutique was conceived through several many bottles of wine, and several many notions that work is awful, I am awful, life is awful, everything is just awful. Eventually one day, I was sick and tired of feeling awful and I decided to do something about it.

Fast forward 4 years – Here we are.

House of Hammm has successfully progressed through the years from an drunk idea, to a start up, to an established brick and mortar. Now, when I say successfully what I actually mean is, I literally did everything wrong and had to learn the lessons on how to do it right and try to fix all the shit I screwed up royally over the past 3 years. I am now successfully learned in the art of fucking up. Would I love a re-do of the past three years to do it right the first time? Darn tootin I would, but I can't so I am just doing my best to fix shit as I go.

Let's not beat around the bush. We all know I am just doing this retail stuff until some talent scout rolls in and realizes what a golden opportunity I am, and gives me my own talk show, puts me on Broadway, or gives me that book deal I so clearly deserve. This is some Pulitzer level shit, right? So, don't get too used to me guys... Cay's gonna be a STAR! But until then new followers, here's the Cliff's Notes of what you need to know about me:

~ I consistently bite off more than I can chew, I run my business like one big experiment and y'all are my tester rats. Thanks, luv ya!

~ Sasquatch is real.

~ I take a lot of selfies. I am cute. It's my right.

~ I run people over with my car.

~ I am a Leo. Sorry.

~ I am the laziest, hard worker you will ever meet.

~ If you come into my store and say “But where will I wear it?”, I will fight you.

~ I hate goats.

~ If you come into my store, steal things, then come in again in a disguise and steal again, then come in a couple months later in a whole new disguise to steal some more it will probably take me 4 or 5 times of you doing that before I catch on and go ape shit on you. Side note: Please don't do this.

~ If wear Blundstone's as a fashion choice, I won't say anything but I will internally visualize lighting a fire and using them as kindling.

~ If you are a good person, I will respect you and treat you as such. Ergo, don't be a dick.

So there you have it newbs, me in a nutshell. Welcome to the life and times of House of Hammm Consignment Boutique. Come on in and see me sometime.


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